If movies have taught us anything, it’s that a film doesn’t have to be good to be great. Films that have stuck with us as a culture aren’t always art. Face it—“Shaft” is not “Citizen Kane” and “Basic Instinct” is more than a sneeze away from “Fargo.”
Yet these lesser films stick with us. Quentin Tarantino has made a (damn good) living on upgrading these “low” genres; “Pulp Fiction” is nothing more than a love letter to pulp crime paperbacks on film. “Jaws” put Steven Spielberg on the map, but in reality it’s little more than a B-grade monster movie with a better cast and more money spent on special effects.
Why are people remaking films like “The Hills Have Eyes,” “The Fog” and “Ocean’s 11” when there are better films to remake and fresh scripts to be read?
Simply put, these films have permeated our culture more than we’d like to admit. As much as I love movies like “Magnolia” and “Lost in Translation,” they aren’t the movies I reach for to feel better after a hard day.
One of my favorite bad movies of all time is Russ Meyer’s “Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” Meyer was notoriously known as the king of “T and A,” and if there exists a smut magnum opus, this is it. The film, which centers on three rogue go-go dancers out for blood and cash, is exactly what the exploitation era was all about: boobs, blood and fast cars. It includes what may be the definitive exploitative line of the era: “You girls a bunch of nudists or are you just short clothes?”
The king of bad monster movies is Japanese film, “Gojira,” better known to Americans as “Godzilla.” Not only is Godzilla a tacky-looking costume (a green Barney with sharp teeth?), but this overly-simplified fable about the evils of nuclear testing features clunky dialogue, hilariously bad dubbing over the original Japanese dialogue and a ridiculous plot. Case in point: Godzilla is killed by an “oxygen destroyer,” which is thrown into the ocean in which he lives. He suffocates from the lack of oxygen in the water. How can there still be water if all that’s left is gaseous hydrogen?
Being called the worst movie ever made by the worst director in the history of film, Ed Wood, is enough to make “Plan 9 from Outer Space” a must-see. But the cast list is not unbelievable—Bela Lugosi is credited in the film despite the notable handicap of being dead for three years before filming began. Really, how can a movie with zombies, vampires and space aliens be all bad?
If Wood and Meyer are the kings of trash cinema, Paul Verhoeven, director of “Starship Troopers,” must be the property manager of a large village somewhere in their kingdom. Call “Troopers” a protest against the U.S.’s foreign policy if you want, but come on! The (only) three things that make this film worth a look-see are exploding space bugs, that crazy unisex shower scene and the faint hopes of seeing Denise Richards pull a Sharon Stone à la “Basic Instinct” (no such luck). It stars Neil Patrick Harris, too! Man, Doogie kicks ass!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to rent “Office Space.” I’ve got a rare case of the Wednesday Mondays.
Share your guilty movie pleasures with Brad at boron@wisc.edu.
